Right now I don’t know what is exactly in my mind to write ….because I am in a kind of trauma state and I don’t know what to do????
Except letting the things come out of my mind ..at this place..
May be some of you can relate to and help out….
From the time I came to know ….
What does” Marriage “word means…
I was told that I am going to have an arranged one…..
Like everyone in my family….
And I was always okay with it….
I was never in any relationship or had any personal attachment to any guy up to present……
I was never the social butterfly….
What else I could say???
My new Year Resolution this time included a promise to myself….
That I am not going to waste a second of this year. ……over these things….
I have to focus completely on my studies and my long term goals….
Alas! ….I got a jolt today….
The parents are willing to see me married before next year…
In an arranged style …..
Although they haven’t decided the guy yet….but they will start looking soon..
They are kind enough and have allowed me to choose a guy of my choice but within my caste….
Taking into account my reserved nature
It’s very kind to hear such words from them….
From evening to this time ….just turning pages of books….
Can I study like this?????
Now the words ARRANGED MARRIAGE seem like a Devil to me….I can never trust on….
I can not be the victim of a future which is blank and has to be guessed for rest of the life….
I am not capable enough to find another way….
So this is me today…
And this post is written in the worst condition I could be…
I feel sorry for being a Coward in my real life.